Many brothers and sisters find themselves in a situation where they're memorising the Qur'ān but are battling porn addiction. Is it possible to memorise the Qur'ān with such a dark world hovering over you?
Yes, it is possible! As long as you have a teacher and a recovery program in place. Don't be a lone wolf. You will drown! Isolation is not a solution. A brother that opened up to me about his addiction has a teacher and regularly checks in with me. Allāh has enabled him to memorise more than 5 juz' to date.
Cheap dopamine is the modern shaytān. All it takes is one moment of exposure to plant a seed in the heart. Leaving your hifdh due to this, won't help. Continue! You may feel the burden of sin and hypocrisy but please read this guide and follow the steps.
Recognise and internalise the dangers of the addiction
There's so much information available on what impact pornography has on a person mentally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually. For those memorising the Qur'ān, it's important to remember the path you're on. As a memory athlete, you need to take care of yourself as much as you need to take care of the Qur'ān. So if you're mentally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually weakened, this will have a direct impact on your relationship with the Qur'ān.
What do you need in order to memorise the Qur'ān at the very least?
You need motivation, you need drive, you need intent, and at the very least, a healthy mind. Pornography can kill all of these.
Pornography consumption is not something that can easily be stopped. Once the appetite for it has developed, it actually increases. Like any other addiction, the cravings increase, and the needs increase such that the material being consumed becomes worse and worse. It often leads to the user acting out fantasies - often on children.
Pornography interferes with short-term memory
The part of the brain responsible for keeping information in the mind while using it to complete a task, working memory is critical for understanding, reasoning, problem-solving, and decision-making. Porn’s negative effect on this part of the brain is just one of many reasons why watching is harmful to neurological health.
German researchers asked 28 men—all heterosexual, and averaging 26 years of age—to look at a number of computer images. Some images were pornographic, others weren’t. The test subjects logged a significantly greater number of incorrect answers when they viewed the porn than when they saw the nonsexual images. On average, they answered correctly 67% of the time when they viewed pornographic pictures, but 80% of the time when they saw nonsexual pictures.
Pornography kills motivation
According to the researchers, the findings could help psychologists understand why some people with porn addictions or obsessions forget to sleep, miss appointments, duck out on job responsibilities, and neglect relationships.
Research has shown that the more consumers watch porn, the less motivation they can have for things that previously got them excited.
Soon, consumers can start to lose interest in anything that doesn’t bring the massive, exciting rush of consuming porn.
But there’s good news—the sooner porn is out of the picture, the sooner the brain can bounce back.
You must have a serious and meaningful conversation
The first and most important step is to speak to someone about your struggles. Just because you're afflicted with this addiction doesn't mean you are filthy. You're not filthy! You face an underlying issue that needs attention. Start to get help by approaching someone that you can trust, or professionals and coaches.
It is absolutely vital to have a recovery program in place
A recovery program should include everything from:
- building goals, intent, willpower and mind shifts for change
- real accountability
- seek knowledge ('ilm)
- spiritual training under the guidance of a shaykh (tazkiyyah)
- remembrance and attending gatherings (adhkār, dhikr, salawāt, istighfār, tawbah)
- regular good company (suhbah)
- no social isolation
- regular work
- regular projects
- regular activities
- daily routine and habit building
- daily urge management
- daily breathing exercises and techniques
- daily journaling
- daily diet and nutrition management
- sleep management
- learning coping mechanisms
- using porn filters
- and more
These are some of the things that you need to get started in your battle to beat this addiction.
A 10-Step Path To Defeat Porn Addiction
A quick summary:
- Speak to someone about it.
- Start to get help.
- Set up a porn filter on all your devices with reports.
- Get an accountability partner.
- Create a team to help you.
- Set up a recovery program.
- Set up a self-care schedule.
- Change your belief systems.
- Learn how to process and manage your emotions, and emotional states.
- Work on your sleep routine and scheduling/habits.
Who can you reach out to for help?
There are many apps, hotlines, resources, communities, and groups available online and offline. Do your research and speak to those that have been through the process themselves. Some options to check out include:
- Younis Bilal (Paid)
- PurifyYourGaze (Paid)
- Olumide Abdul Rahman Lawal (Muslim Coach for Muslim Men Recovery Community)
- My Tazkiyah (Paid)
Get in touch if you have any further information!
Memorising the Qur'ān when you're facing porn addiction
Remember - don't give up. You are a believer and you can defeat this, in shā' Allāh.
The key for you is to make it a primary obligation to battle and remove this addiction from your life and purify your eyes, heart, and mind. Once you do, you will begin to see a difference in your Qur'ān memorisation and your inclination towards good. The steps above are what will help you.
It's not of any use to seek overnight success but you will need to battle this for a long and sustained period.
You can do this!
May Allāh grant protection, purity, and ease!
