Marriage often elicits mixed reactions; for some, it's a subject they shy away from, while for others, it's a constant presence in their thoughts. In modern times, the notion of marriage has become fraught with complexities and blurred understanding. Marriage takes effort and dedication, yes, it's a matter of personal choice, and for many, this topic of marriage is also a source of deep-seated emotions and reactions.
It’s no secret that in the Muslim community, we are facing a marriage and divorce crisis. Pew Research reports that only 17% of Muslims aged 18-29 are married compared to 58% in the 30-49 age group. Muslims are getting married later in life despite beginning the search early on. There are multiple challenges.
Marriage is more than a union of hearts; it's a profound source of Rizq (sustenance or provision) bestowed by Allāh Himself. It comes from Him. We can seek it and it will unfold as He wills.
وَفِى ٱلسَّمَآءِ رِزْقُكُمْ وَمَا تُوعَدُونَ
And (also) there is sustenance for you in the heaven and (all that too) which you are promised. — 51:22
However, Rizq has many forms. This Rizq is not limited to material wealth but extends to the intangible yet invaluable wealth of knowledge. The Qur'ān and Hadith emphasise this, reminding us that in seeking a partner, we're also potentially unlocking doors to greater understanding and wisdom.
Marriage as a Channel of Rizq
Just look at what we have in our tradition.
Allāh says:
وَأَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْأَيَـٰمَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَآئِكُمْ ۚ إِن يَكُونُوا۟ فُقَرَآءَ يُغْنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٌۭ
Marry off the ˹free˺ singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing. — 24:32
Sayyidunā ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Abbas (Allāh be well pleased with them) under the commentary of this verse would say: “Allāh commanded and encouraged them to get married, and he promised them wealth.” Similar statements have also been reported from Sayyidunā Abu Bakr As-Siddīq and Sayyidunā ‘Abdullāh ibn Mas’ud (Allāh be well pleased with them) Refer to: Tafsir Ibn Abi Hātim, Tafsir Ibn Kathir and Ad-Durrul Manthūr, etc).
Sayyidunā Abu Hurayrah (Allāh be well pleased with him) reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“There are three types of people whom it is a right upon Allāh to help and assist, The Mujāhid in the path of Allāh, The Mukatab [a slave paying for his freedom] who intends to pay, and the one who makes nikah intending chastity."
Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 1655, Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith: 2518 – Declared sound (hasan) by Imam Tirmidhi and authentic (sahih) by Imam Ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 4030)
Sayyidunā ‘Abdullāh Ibn ‘Abbās (Allāh be well pleased with them) reports that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“Seek for sustenance in nikah."
Daylami with a weak chain. Refer: Al Maqasidul Hasanah, pg. 82, Hadith: 162
Sayyidunā ‘Umar (Allāh be well pleased with him) said:
“I have not seen anything more [strange] than a man who does not seek surplus through nikah when Allāh has said, “If they are poor, Allāh will make them independent by his grace.”
Musannaf ‘Abdur Razzaq: 10393
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“Marry women, for verily they will bring wealth” [through the blessing of nikah].
Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, Hadith: 16161, mursalan, with a reliable chain
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him be mindful of Allāh regarding the remaining half."
al-Mishkāt
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“Whoever Allāh provides with a righteous wife, Allah has assisted him in half of his religion. Let him be mindful of Allāh regarding the second half.”
al-Mu’jam al-Awsaṭ
The Role of Knowledge in Matrimonial Bonds
Knowledge, especially in the context of Hifz, can play a significant role in strengthening matrimonial bonds. It's a journey that fosters patience, discipline, and mutual respect - qualities essential for a harmonious marital life. By memorising the Qur'ān together, or helping one to achieve it, couples embark on a path of continuous learning, growing not just in their understanding of the Qur'ān but also in their understanding of each other.
Introducing 'Finding My Half'
"Finding My Half" aims to bring together individuals who value this aspect of Rizq in their marital search. It’s more than a platform for finding a life partner; it's a space where the quest for knowledge, especially of the Qur'ān, is a shared passion. It's for those memorizing Quran and those on the path of sacred knowledge. A project born out of trying to help those on a journey towards enriching their lives with the shared pursuit of knowledge, specifically in the realm of Hifz (memorization of the Qur'ān).
Visit the WhatsApp channel to follow the journey, find the form, and more about the project. As I launch this project, I invite you to join us in this beautiful endeavor – to find not just a partner but a companion in the lifelong journey of learning and spiritual growth. If Allāh wills, it will gain traction and we can build a platform that enables you to find someone for yourself.
UPDATE: There's now a Telegram channel and a new search engine released.
How Marriage Can Be A Powerful Gateway To Hifz
While introducing the "Finding My Half" project, which seeks to connect individuals on a spiritual and intellectual level, it's fitting to share a story that exemplifies the profound impact of shared goals in a marital journey, particularly in the realm of Hifz.
The following is a story of a couple who embarked on an extraordinary journey to memorize the Qur'ān. Their dedication was marked by long nights and sacrifices, as they prioritized the Qur'ān during the sacred month of Ramadān.
The husband, a busy pharmacist juggling his Master's thesis, was like many seeking efficient and fast methods for memorization. His approach was unique and straightforward:
01 - Determine the routine
He dedicated four hours daily to Hifz, focusing on time rather than quantity. Initially scattered throughout the day, this soon transformed into a single, focused session after Fajr.
02 - Establishing a system
Each morning, he prepared a spreadsheet listing the pages for memorization, alongside checkboxes for reading frequency, noting mistakes, and tracking progress. This system served as a guide for identifying weak areas and fueling motivation. It had 3 checkboxes:
- Read page [3] times.
- Mistakes or weaknesses per reading with notes.
- Read it off memory [3] times.
03 - Crazy fast hifdh
The husband and wife were working together. Their technique involved repeated reading of a page until it could be recited by memory, sometimes requiring as few as five repetitions. This method led to an astounding accomplishment: memorizing 50 pages in one day during their final stretch! That's almost 5 minutes per page. Insane right?
04 - Consistent revision
What about revision? What about retention? They faced challenges in retention but overcame them with periodic five-month revision cycles. The more they did these revision sets, the better they got each time.
So many stories of memorizing Qur'ān in short periods
But there's something that I want you to know.
I share many methods, systems, and stories but I will always emphasize that slower memorization with quality is always the best policy. Allāh gives to whom he wills in whatever way He wills. Whether that is fast or slow. We're all different. People love a quick system but it's a lot of effort regardless. Doing it faster often involves even more effort because the quicker something comes in, the faster it goes out (retention is harder). It's not for everyone but the reason I share this story is because it shows us what is possible.
We learn the impact of sustained effort. Nothing is impossible with Allāh. Be proud of who you are. You are unique. This couple has a strong intent but didn't expect this result. We learned that you can approach memorization using time units instead of lines or pages. Learn what you can in the time you have. Be consistent in that. Start and remain on that and you'll find yourself progressing. What do you think you could do in 4 hours?
This was a story that was passed on during the years 2009/2010 by the husband. It spread onto forums etc.
We hear many of these stories from various regions of the world. Just the other day I shared the story of Iyad from Palestine who did it in 20 days.
I want you to focus.
Don't look at how long it took them.
Look at what you can learn.
Look at what can inspire you.
Look at what you can do to help you in your journey.
Think about this. We are always advised to seek good company right?
But when you are in good company, what do you do?
Many of us try to find faults or pick something out to talk about. What if you just sat with good company and observed what good Allāh has blessed them with? Pray for them. But then also self-reflection. Ask how can I gain this good quality. Ask the person how they attained it.
In the same way, all these stories should be treated like company. What did they do, how did they do it, how different am I but what can I learn from this experience?
Often every story has things we don't hear about, we don't know the afters or we don't know the intricate details. But we don't always need that. The framework can be enough.
The framework here is:
Find a time.
Specify a timeframe.
Stick to it.
Do as much as you can.
Keep going.
Allāh grant blessing.
21 - Like and share!
